


IKEA incidents

by ChauntelleKisses (orphan_account)



Category: Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Established Relationship, IKEA employees do NOT get paid enough, M/M, Suggestive language, no smut marcus just alludes to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 05:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10379838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ChauntelleKisses
Summary: when wrench breaks a table during a demonstration, he and marcus go to IKEA for a new one. shenanigans ensue.





	

Once the automatic slider doors open, Wrench is a kid in a candy store. He runs around the IKEA on a mission to read every single furniture tag in the store. He tries to pronounce every name he finds, which amuses the employees for only a few minutes before the hacker starts shouting them to make sure Marcus can hear each one at the opposite side of the store.

When Marcus makes his way back to try and get Wrench to lower his voice, he finds the masked man on one of the premade example beds, resting on his side seductively. He runs his hand down the mattress in front of him, a ‘^ ~’ expression on his mask as he eye Marcus. He imitates the sentient car from their favorite movie series as he says, “Oh, Devon von Devon, will you-”

“No.”

“But-”

“No.”

-

Marcus is listening to the employee’s spiel about an overpriced oak desk that isn’t even close to the size that he needs at the hackerspace. The conversation is interrupted as Wrench comes up and puts a hand on Marcus, using his other to gesture to the sky as if seeing a great vision. “I’m gonna pick a random tag in here, Marcus, and we’re gonna name our kid that.”

“Definitely not,” Marcus instinctively replies, but Wrench is already gone.

Marcus excuses himself to go find his favorite trouble maker.

Wrench is holding a tag reading FYRKANTIG like it’s a fragile egg, laughing softly under his breath as he tries to say it. “Fur- fee-yeer- meh. Fur-can-tig?” His mask flashes with exclamation marks as he turns behind him to see Marcus. He holds the tag in a way that lets Marcus see it. “Would you like Fur-can-tig just as much as-” he holds up a different tag with his left hand, “Gron-coo-luh?”

Marcus chews on his cheek for just a moment before nodding his head. “I think I could manage that.”

Wrench’s mask flashes with less than three signs for a mere second before he claps a hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “Ok, so what desk are we going with?”

Marcus is surprised that Wrench’s shenanigans are over so easy, but he’s partially grateful. He turns to hide his grin as he realizes he’s got one of his own.  
-

Wrench appraises the desk with various symbols flashing on his visor before he knocks on the wood itself. “This one is perfect,” he finally says. “It will get stained and scratched up and, y’know, it’ll still look cool.”

He turns to see how Marcus agrees, but instead sees the hacktivist in suspiciously deep thought.

“What’s wrong?” Wrench asks as he points to the desk. “You don’t like it?”

Marcus shakes his head. “It’s not that.” He comes up to the desk and pushes on it to test how sturdy it is. “I’m just wondering if this can handle our weight when I pin you against it.”

He delivers it with a perfect poker face, and turns to see Wrench’s ! ! visor. He grins as Wrench turns, but doesn’t expect him to tell the employee that they _definitely_ want this desk now.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! feed me your comments, they're my only source of sustenance <3


End file.
